I don't know why I do it.
There are times when I find myself trawling YouTube for old songs I used to hear in the clubs back in the mid-nineties. Usually when it's late at night and I really should have gone to bed, like tonight really.
It always makes me nostalgic and the yearning is something else. Like a pang in the stomach.
I guess most of us leave a part of ourselves in that point in our lives when going out, drinking and dancing is what the weekends were for.
Nowadays I can't be bothered or at least thats what I tell myself, the truth is likely somewhere in between and blended with anxiety and self-image issues in a cocktail I'll christen 'too old for all that shit'. I can't hack the hangovers, can't be done with over-crowded bars filled with fresh-faced tossers and mostly, by comparison, the music of the noughties has been a steaming pile.
But when you get the right DJ playing the old stuff... It still gets under my skin. I'm not saying I was a devout clubber, a pulling machine or even a good dancer for that matter. Far from all of that, but still you couldn't beat a good night out and an alcohol-driven wiggle. Anything else was just a bonus.
How do you reconcile what you enjoyed immensely back then and the face in the mirror that greets you every morning? The one you can't quite believe is yours because it belongs to some adult and theres more wrinkles than you want and less of a hairline than you need.
Its true; youth is wasted on the young. My observation was that by the time you realized how narrow the actual window of true youth was, it was gone. In your twenties you're still young by anyone's gauge but twenty-five is not twenty-one and twenty-one isn't eighteen. The silly thing is I'll probably look back in ten years time and think how young I was now.
And perhaps I think too much, write too little of any merit and should have gone to bed already!
