Interesting day. An interesting day indeed.
Today was my little niece's christening, and although I don't agree with such concepts myself I wasn't going to miss it just because I don't agree with it - I'm probably going to have to make that compromise myself sometime sooner or later.
She was gorgeous and very well behaved, slept and slumbered her way through just about the whole day and the many many friends and relatives she was passed around. Look out for my brother tonight, she won't need any more sleep today!
But why did I consider the day interesting? Well, first off perhaps interesting is the wrong word. Tumultuous is probably a better fit. I've finished my day with my head in a total spin and inside my emotions have taken a bit of a jolt.
The after-do was back in my home town, a mere 13 miles up the road from where I live now but a place I avoid to the extent it may as well be 130 miles up the road. Being back there with a few familiar faces (and a few jars of alcohol) has tripped a nerve and I actually ended up feeling that I missed the place.
Do I really miss it? After all, what was there to miss? Except, do I miss the familiar faces, friends or not? Or was I just a bit merry and (as you do) nostalgic?
And, there was also the small matter of an ex-something.
I say ex-something, ex-girlfriend maybe? Was it ever that serious, technically we could have called it that for about a month maybe but that was like 12 years ago. Ex-shagbuddy? Is that closer the mark? But even that was entirely over once I met Shortstuff, and to be precise I knocked her back just after Shortstuff and I started seeing eachother. We haven't spoken since and I think I've probably only seen her about in the street once in those last 7 years.
But, damnit, I so wanted to speak to her today.
Despite nothing serious ever coming of the times our paths crossed. Fuck it. I don't really know what to say here.
I just would have liked to chat and find out how she is, how she's been. But I didn't find the courage just to go ahead and do it. Hours passed by and thats it, it could be years again before an opportunity comes along.
Maybe, when I'm totally sober tomorrow I won't think anything of it, but I'm pretty certain I still feel a bit shaken inside.
Perhaps thats all my life is now, a joined up string of avoidances I engineer so that I never have to resolve anything or determine any truth in what I feel?
Meh, I'll just finish here. Enough has been stirred up inside today, without me looking closely at it all.
I got plenty of cuddles with my little niece and thats enough to make it a good day for me 
