Well I did it, in the end. I persuaded myself to be proactive and go see my Manager and have a good grumble about the total lack of consultation and information heading my way.

I wasn't entirely sure I could be bothered with the situation and was in two minds as to whether I really was destined to find somewhere else to work or see how the ground lay here. I have to admit I kind of enjoyed most of the conversation, especially the uncomfortable boss bit.

I try to take notice of body language a bit more than I used to because I have a habit of realizing the subtext of what is or isn't said long after the event. When I remember to watch people while they talk it alleviates a bit of that particular short-coming.

I enjoyed watching him fiddle with anything he could lay his hands on while my eyes just bored into him. To be honest, I learnt to look people in the eyes during job interviews and lets be totally honest... I do it to death in situations where I feel a bit of intimidation is required!

While he fiddled and babbled and looked around I just sat forward and eyeballed him.

It wasn't a short conversation and frankly, he babbled on for what must have been at least half an hour recounting things I already knew i.e. The bleeding obvious facts of the situation.

Anyway, long story short, my position as it stands is redundant. I did ask forthrightly “Why am I not redundant?” and the answer is they have a use for me.

This is actually looking pretty good... My job is history but they have another job for me. Which is exactly what I wanted to hear – I can have that all so important maneuverability I wanted, I have no job and an offer which if I refuse to take should leave me in a reasonably good position to argue that I am therefore redundant: 'Wheres my big cheque? And thank you very much!'

There is a precedent at my company to include a clause in the job description that states the job can include any other duties as may be assigned – therefore to know that my job is redundant kind of invalidates that clause should I choose not to take the new job that will be offered.

Had my position not been made redundant by the outsourcing move, that tiny little clause could have been used to remove 90% of my job and replace it with 90% of another. As it stands now, if I elect to do so my arguments for redundancy have a lot stronger footing.

But.

And its a big but! The job on offer is actually sounding pretty tempting. There's nothing on paper yet and I made a very big point of not speaking my mind in favour for or against the offer so as to leave my options widely open.

There's every chance the job title will involve the word trainee or junior bolted on the front which is a little demeaning unless your under 25 but it was mentioned that the boss would like to get some more money for me. I guess I could live with one of those words in my title for a year or two if it meant a pay rise. Plus once the offending word was removed from the title that would mean more money again! I didn't protest too much... He didn't need to know that I don't need anymore cash lol

And training, proper formal training courses... Which means lovely bits of paper that mean I can take the extra cash, the training and experience and get another job somewhere else for even more cash!

Money is nice, not having to scrimp and save and worry is nice and ever since leaving home I've not had to worry (I know that sounds like its a bit in reverse there!) so even more money I guess will help towards other things I want to achieve.

Most of my ambitions as a person aren't work related at all. I don't find myself sticking in extra hours on the off chance that someone will notice and reward me, I have personal ambitions rather than career aspirations and to have even more disposable pennies hanging around will be of great benefit in that respect. I have a fair idea that children cost a lot... Not to mention another jump up the housing ladder in a county with mental house prices and where the average wage is probably only just above half of the national average of about 24,000 pounds.

Back to the point however, I made damn clear that despite being the youngest in the department I've had a bellyful of being considered, rightly or wrongly by my suspicious mind, of being the office junior and I wouldn't stand for being used as the 'fetch and carry' for every one else.

Literally though, if I were a listed company, my stock would be on the verge of going through the roof! As the last remaining one of my team not being made redundant I will be a link between the company and the outsourcers in terms of hands-on experience and understanding. Which sounds to me like I'm in a very strong position generally and able to claim a lot more responsibility when it comes to 'considering' what any increase in salary on the new job will be. Plus my shifts, where I get the pleasure of getting up at 5am every other week, will be gone.

I can only hope that what I might gain in salary will not be negated in entirety by what I am likely to lose in shift allowance – that would be just so typical of my company to reward with one hand and slap with the other!

Toward the end of the conversation, I did start to show some flexibility in order to show willing and a more conscientious attitude to the situation and have begun to embrace the task of the hand over to the oursourcers willingly. It's a mammoth task with an incredulously short deadline and one that has eaten a week almost without stopping to catch breath.

But the future for Ksan has quite a rosy glint to it. It'll cost me in effort and stress no doubt over the coming months but perhaps I've finally persuaded myself to embrace the situation and taken the pain in order to see the best outcome in the longer view.

I don't need the extra money, but I could find use for it and the new role on offer could secure my future well past the time when other parts of the department are outsourced off from around me.

Oh, and in other news, Shortstuff has finally come off the pill so its Russian roulette from here on in!!! We had what seemed like a final chat on the matter (after it being brushed across over many months here and there) and I think she agreed with me when I said it'll happen when it happens. I want to start a family but I'm not going to go mental about trying to get her pregnant (although that could have been a good excuse for a lot of fun!) She's off the pill so its now just down to whenever it happens.

Shortstuff wants a girl. I want at least one boy, but I wouldn't say no to a girl. Theres something in me that desperately wants a boy to carry on my name (but the reasons behind the incredibly strong drive behind that I've never discussed on this blog) but I would love a girl too and actually wouldn't mind a girl as my first. Shortstuff wants two children and so do I, but I have warned her that if we have two girls, she's having a third! If it wasn't such a financially mercenary world and time wasn't such an incredibly scarce commodity, I think three children would be my number (two is just so common! lol)

My mum thinks I'm likely to be softer on a girl and I think perhaps she's right, maybe a girl first to take some of the sharp edges of me. After all, I wouldn't want to make such a mess of my own as my parents did me!!!

I'm sure though that time will reveal all, in so many things... :D