At work this week, one of the chaps was coming around and getting us to complete a self-test, personality profile thingy that he'd learnt about the previous week on a team-building course.
First off, this is weirdness around these parts, not only do I live in the place where time forgot (and multiculturality just never seemed to happen) but I work for a company that just doesn't seem to 'get' all these modern ways of doing things. It tries sometimes I'll admit but for the most part, like a fart in a jacuzzi, its soon lost amongst the bubbles that were already there.

The end result of this basic profiling would result in a four letter combination that would help others understand how best to approach and motivate you blah blah yadda yadda etc.

The first letter dealt with ascertaing whether you were an Extrovert or Introvert personailty type - and it was pointed out that being introverted was not a short-coming, but as it transpires just a different set of strengths and weaknesses to the former.

I was stumped.

I would say I'm introverted... for the most part, but the construct of my personality seems to have almost two poles, a sort of clashing as if I've never decided on which aspects of my personality I want to be most associated with and this out of the four sections proved problematic.

Most people would probably say I'm introverted too, apart from those that perhaps know me best in this life; and that doesn't include anyone from work.

To help me decide, the chap conducting the exercise asked a question specifically aimed to help those hovering on indecision make the situation clearer.

"What would be your perfect day?"

His was to go and play golf, not alone but with friends, basically equating to an extroverted personality type. Interesting question, unfortunately I had to state unequivocally that I couldn't tell him. The first thing that had popped into my head was going to a beach in the Canaries and getting all my kit off!

I'm for the most part quiet and often, unspeaking. I'm not one for small talk generally, I even struggle with the british banality that is mentioning the weather. Frankly, if theres nothing to say I'd rather not say anything than point out the bleeding obvious although I do find myself falling into that damned rigmarole sometimes.

So I'm quiet, standoffish, secretive and withdrawn, brooding and contemplative but my idea of a good time is getting naked under the sun. Hmmm. :-/ I went with introverted in the end but I don't think the real answer to that question with me, is anywhere near clear cut.

Food for thought though, I suspect that I'm not half as naturally introverted as I may say - theres the distinct whiff of a cover-up going on and if pushed I will admit that I'm almost deliberately restrained. Quite how and why I hold myself inside such tight behavioral parameters is an interesting query and one I think I'll have to approach and wonder about more fully sometime.

Perhaps I can one day do something about it to open myself up to others more and stop keeping everyone at arms length but maybe that will have to come after I've disarmed the gazillion self-defense mechanisms that seem to permeate every part of my being on just about every level.

Counselling eh? You go there seeking answers and come away with more questions!